The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

“What is the meaning of this?” asked the Witch Queen. Nobody answered. 
“Speak, vermin!” she said again. “Or do you want my dwarf to find you a tongue with his whip? What is the meaning of all this gluttony, this waste, this selfindulgence? Where did you get all these things?” 
“Please, your Majesty,” said the Fox, “we were given them. And if I might make so bold as to drink your Majesty’s very good health—” 
“Who gave them to you?” said the Witch. 
“F-F-F-Father Christmas,” stammered the Fox. 
“What?” roared the Witch, springing from the sledge and taking a few strides nearer to the terrified animals. “He has not been here! He cannot have been here! How dare you—but no. Say you have been lying and you shall even now be forgiven.” 
At that moment one of the young squirrels lost its head completely. 
“He has—he has—he has!” it squeaked, beating its little spoon on the table.


I've been slowly but surely making my way through the Chronicles of Narnia. I wasn't much of a reader when I was a kid, so I'm trying to make up for lost time here. This is my favorite snippet from the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. Before I came across the bolded lines, I don't think a book had ever made me LOL. Not some half-hearted snuff or giggle, but a full on laugh (out loud). 

C.S. Lewis, you da man. 

OH MY DOSH

Saturday, September 15, 2012

The past month has felt like a whirlwind. Too much....change...brain cannot take this much longer. In the midst of writing a paper, so I'll have to summarize my thoughts in the form of a bullet-point list.

  • officially obsessed with wall-climbing. I can climb 5.10b's and v2's comfortably without ripping all the skin from my hands
  • After a grueling 1.5 hour hike straight up some ridiculous mountain in Canada at Lake Louise, a crazed 18th century explorer/mountain man wearing a stolen jacket + briefcase proposed to me at the Lake Agnes Tea House. I respond with an 'i guess so'....which I swear translates into 'yes of course!' in Becky language
  • ran my first (and possibly last) 1/2 marathon at Virginia Beach and let me tell you...crossing that finish line felt like complete crap x 100000. I thought it was going to feel like heaven, but it totally didn't. All I could manage to do was whine and complain. However, 2 weeks later, I've forgotten  just exactly how much it sucked and I kind of want to run another race....kind of.
  • started graduate classes 2 weeks ago and was immediately bombarded on all fronts by an onslaught of research papers and projects. Honestly, my brain feels like it has been in a coma for the past 3 years since graduation and all of the sudden is be demanded to perform tasks that now seem completely foreign to him. Poor brain :(
  • wedding planning = the bane of my existence. It robs me of joy and time and sanity. 
Yes yes...tis been a whirlwind indeed. But I certainly see God at work in all of it. 3 years ago, I wrote a journal entry that went something like "It's 10pm. And I realized that I've gone through an entire school day without speaking to a single soul". In fact, I think that was pretty much my goal going into classes. Don't talk to people because they will think you are a strange strange, stupid person. But God's been working in this heart of mine, freeing me from idols and fears that once had dominion over my brain/thoughts/actions. At some point this past month I just broke down and cried out to God to rescue me from my selfish, idol-cuddling heart. I told Him I didn't want to live like this anymore and all I wanted was to be free from those fears and idols so that I might be free to love Him and, in turn, love others. No doubt about it, He is answering those prayers. He's freeing me to be honest, open to people I would otherwise have ignored or avoided in the past. He's freeing me to love others forrealz and not be so gosh darn obsessed with myself. Yes indeed, "for freedom, Christ has set us free" (Gal 5:1).

p.s. I've already made some really cool friends in my classes :) It's what I am most thankful for this week.

“For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” Romans 8:15

“In my anguish I cried to the LORD, and He answered by setting me free.” Psalm 118:5


“But thanks be to God that, though you used to be slaves to sin, you wholeheartedly obeyed the form of teaching to which you were entrusted. You have been set from sin and have become slaves to righteousness.” Romans 6:17-18

Utah + Meya's wedding

Monday, July 9, 2012

Returned home from Utah last Saturday evening, only to discover we had  no power and would not be receiving power until the following Friday. After 5 days of no relief from Pepco, I have sought shelter at my cousin's house, from where I am currently typing this here blog post. I'm happy to report that I have accomplished absolutely nothing these past 5 days aside from flipping our generator on every 2 hours to keep the refrigerator going and confirming that my cousins' dog, Shao, is indeed mentally deficient (after attempts to assault a fire hydrant and dump trump).

Meya's + Bryant's wedding was most splendid. Yes yes...twas splendid and such leading up to the wedding day. Alpine sledding, starting a campfire in the mountain forest in the midst of forest fire warnings (like a boss), watching Meya graciously receive her bachelorette gifts (edible undies and all), and being a part of some off-the-chain fellowship with the bridesmaids as we prayed over Meya throughout the weekend. It was just super encouraging to see what an awesome group of sisters the Lord has blessed Meya with and experience all the love/support surrounding her that weekend. Good grief, He is good.

...even when brides wake up with food poisoning on their wedding day. Because when Meya walked down that aisle, no one in the whole entire world could have guessed that only a few hours prior, she had been violently vomiting a concoction of saltine crackers and coke into a kitchen bowl as her hair was being curled. She was... ridiculously riveting and I don't think a single bridesmaid was able to hold their crap together during that ceremony. To be honest, didn't have a clue as to whom this Bryant fellow was until AFTER said ceremony when the toasts were being made. His college buddy, Jake, shared stories of Bryant's persistent pursuit in sharing the love of Christ with him and how he was never scared to be 'that guy' to ask those challenging and probing questions. At one point Jake just broke down and all he could manage to say from there was, "He loves Jesus". And it was at that point I realized what a godly, obedient, courageous, humble, faithful, loving, and awesome man the good Lord had brought to my cousin...and I didn't even have a single conversation with the guy. Congrats Bryant and Christina...so so so happy for you and so excited to see what the good Lord has in store for you guys as one.

and now I officially have zero 'Chen' cousins.


Self reminders

Thursday, July 5, 2012


The central reality for Christians is the personal, unalterable, persevering commitment that God makes to us. Perseverance is not the result of our determination, it is the result of God’s faithfulness. We survive in the way of faith not because we have extraordinary stamina but because God is righteous. Christian discipleship is a process of paying more and more attention to God’s righteousness and less and less attention to our own; finding the meaning of our lives not by probing our moods and motives and morals but by believing in God’s will and purposes; making a map of the faithfulness of God, not charting the rise and fall of our enthusiasm.
- Eugene Peterson, A Long Obedience in the Same Direction, 128-129

The heart of most religions is good advice, good techniques, good programs, good ideas, and good support systems. These drive us deeper into ourselves, to find our inner light, inner goodness, inner voice, or inner resources.
Nothing new can be found inside of us. There is no inner rescuer deep in my soul; I just hear echoes of my own voice telling me all sorts of crazy things to numb my sense of fear, anxiety, and boredom, the origins of which I cannot truly identify.
But the heart of Christianity is Good News. It comes not as a task for us to fulfill, a mission for us to accomplish, a game plan for us to follow with the help of life coaches, but as a report that someone else has already fulfilled, accomplished, followed, and achieved everything for us.
- Michael Horton, The Gospel-Driven Life

The compassion of our heavenly Father is the gift of his only Son. I am nothing. And in my nothingness, I have come to know that the gift is fearfully and wonderfully near. In the words of Augustine, the Son “is more intimate with us than we are with ourselves.” He tabernacles among the brokenhearted. Without a shred of ignorance, he can call every skeleton in your closet by name. Yet, Jesus is not ashamed to prepare a room for you in his Father’s house. He loves to share his reward with sinners. But, I must warn you. To those who think they deserve a place at my Father’s table… not even a stale crumb is reserved for you. If you trust in some personal display of good fruit to save your seat, you have received your reward and my Christ will not vouch for you. I beg you to listen to the voice of your first love: “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” But, there are some who seek to escape their need for grace and deceive us by lowering the cost of God’s righteousness. They preach a cheap law that sells indulgences to those who pay with the appearance of sanctification. But God’s law – costly law – never negotiates with sinners. It is holy and righteous and good – but it is not patient with law-breakers, it is not kind to the ungodly, it keeps every record of wrongdoing. However, we need not fear costly law because Jesus has proclaimed that he will pay our way through the flood of demands with himself. Nor should we fear the liberty of justification, and sanctification, by grace alone through faith alone (the children of the gift work harder because they don’t have to work at all). What we must fear is the baptism of shallow, luke-warm water: “cheap law.”
Cheap law weakens God’s demand for perfection, and in doing so, breaths life into the old creature and his quest for a righteousness of his own making. And what I’m telling you is this: what doesn’t kill him, makes him stronger. Lowering the bar lets the Old Adam peek into the Promised Land. It allows the flesh to survive by rebelling in a form of external piety. And – it’s a perfect hiding place for the Old Being. We don’t think to rebuke such a moral, well-mannered creature. But cheap law offers mercy in the wrong place. It offers mercy to those who are offended by the gift. It creates a people of great zeal, but they lack knowledge concerning the question “What Would Jesus Do?” Here is the costly answer: Jesus would do it all perfectly. And that’s game over for you. The Father is not grooming you to be a replacement for his Beloved Son. He is announcing that there is blessing for those who take shelter in his Beloved Son. Cheap law tells us that we’ve fallen, but there’s good news, you can get back up again. Therein lies the great heresy of cheap law: it is a false gospel. And it cheapens – no – it nullifies grace. It is a sacrifice of God’s law replacing the sacrifice of God’s Son. And when we make sacrifices regarding God’s law, we create something that is not strong enough to stop the mouths of self-sanctifying little sovereigns. It simply teaches us to exchange true godliness for a pursuit of godness. And as long as we cheapen the price of righteousness, the Old Adam will never cease in his bidding war against the freeness of the gift. As time goes on, he may even be willing to accept that “it is God who justifies” if we allow him to change the subject soon after – then, he’ll simply use that as his ticket back to Egypt. In other words, cheap law will always let the flesh pervert sanctification into the process of needing grace less and less. Don’t you see? The Old Being will stop at nothing to get back to the old system. He will not mend his ways – the third time is not the charm! The demands cannot be used to sanctify any more than they could be used to save. They’re meant to reveal your nothingness and corner you before the Christ “who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification.”
Cheap law will never quiet the self-righteous being because it invites him to keep haggling over what he can do apart from Jesus. And that is why law must be costly. It must always get to the heart of the matter. It’s not only murder that deserves death, but hate. It’s not only adultery that condemns, but lust. Not only theft, but coveting. It’s not only what is done with your hands that is judged, but what is done in your heart. And so – it should be clear – this is not “let’s make a deal.” The deals have been cut. The law of Moses is more than you can afford. The Son that God did not spare is priceless. The grace Jesus gives is free. That’s all there is. But cheap law keeps us searching for something to leverage against our poverty. Only costly law will bring that search to an end. It empties our pockets and opens our hands – revealing this: unless the religious expert becomes a beggar, he will not be given the kingdom. Costly law closes in on us and puts this prayer in our mouth: “Be merciful to me, a sinner.” Don’t you know, it’s only those who have been bankrupted by God’s costly law that are eligible for the riches of His grace? Don’t you know, it’s only those who have been silenced by the demands of the law that become hearers of the promise? And so, here we are. Trapped by unmet legal demands on every side. Who will rescue us from this sentence of death? On trembling knees we hear the power of sin accusing us from every angle… until we become still and finally know we aren’t God. The Old Adam is held captive as he waits for the arrival of the master… the master that he expects will be a hard man who reaps, but never sows. His conditional heart races on… “what do I do, what do I do, what do I do.” Then, suddenly – the announcement. And we’re all ears. But the Master – the Last Adam – speaks the unexpected: “There is nothing left for you to do. I’ve done it all for you. It is finished.” Jesus has finished the job and rendered the Old Adam permanently unemployed. And that fact, as Forde says, “is the death of self and the birth of the new creature.” Nothing in our hands we bring and Jesus gives us everything. The Gospel kills us with kindness and raises us anew, to a life of self-forgetful love. And all this, by speaking something the Old Being fears worse than punishment… charity. A hand-out from a nail-pierced hand. A word of surprising grace.

- John Dink



closing a chapter

Friday, June 8, 2012

A few days ago, all I could think about was how work couldn't end any sooner. But yesterday during circle time, Sam crawled into my lap and it almost made me cry thinking how tomorrow is our last day together. So I'm spending as much time as I can with him, doing the things he loves most: reading 'Airport' by Byron Barton, letting him drive me around in circles on the double bike whilst screaming on sharp turns, eating popcorn, and rolling around the carpet like a puppy. If 3-year-olds could read, I'd write a letter to Sam that'd go something like this:


Sup yo. I just want to tell you...I LOVE YOU AND I'M GOING TO MISS YOU SO MUCH. You're my best friend. Did you know that? Remember when you first came to school and peed in your pants everyday because you were scared of the toilet and how you'd scream bloody murder and sob endlessly whenever a bumble bee came close to you? Sure it took a few dozen extra underpants and nearly an  hour of convincing you to wave hello and greet every single bumble bee friend that passed by, but look at you now! I'm so proud of you :) I'm going to miss helping you off the bus everyday, cutting up your chicken nuggets/fish sticks/veggie burger, hearing you nag incessantly to play the computer, reading "Airport" to you on the couch, and hearing you declare such things as "OH! It's a poop! oh...It's a big one!" from the bathroom. Anyways, I hope I've helped you become a better person as much as you've helped me. That's what best friends are for, right?

OK GONNA CRY. BYE.

EPIC ADVENTURE WEEKEND

Sunday, June 3, 2012


  • threw a tea party! 
  • went skydiving. Not as epic as I had imagined or been told. Felt like my lungs were collapsing during free fall. Almost pooped my pants.
  • Beat Act 1 of Diablo 3. Fighting demons/undead/witches/giant exploding potbelly monsters by my lonesome was not an easy feat. Almost pooped my pants.
  • went wall climbing and finished a 5.8 without falling. Forearm muscles rendered almost completely useless
  • went to korean bbq. Almost finished all my food. Almost threw up all over myself. 

It's been a while

Thursday, May 31, 2012

Lexi: I know someone who has 2 daddies
Vasilios: I know someone who has 2 mommies
Ms. Amy: Oh yea? Would you like it if you had 2 daddies?
Vasilios: ...that would be awesome!
Ms. Amy: How about if you had 2 mommies?
Vasilios: noooo. that would be HORRIBLE!

Owen: if you do that one more time, I'm going to tell on you...forever

Ms.Lin: Hey Nicholas, do you teach your little brother how to do things?
Nicholas: HECK NO