OH MY DOSH

Saturday, September 15, 2012

The past month has felt like a whirlwind. Too much....change...brain cannot take this much longer. In the midst of writing a paper, so I'll have to summarize my thoughts in the form of a bullet-point list.

• officially obsessed with wall-climbing. I can climb 5.10b's and v2's comfortably without ripping all the skin from my hands
• After a grueling 1.5 hour hike straight up some ridiculous mountain in Canada at Lake Louise, a crazed 18th century explorer/mountain man wearing a stolen jacket + briefcase proposed to me at the Lake Agnes Tea House. I respond with an 'i guess so'....which I swear translates into 'yes of course!' in Becky language
• ran my first (and possibly last) 1/2 marathon at Virginia Beach and let me tell you...crossing that finish line felt like complete crap x 100000. I thought it was going to feel like heaven, but it totally didn't. All I could manage to do was whine and complain. However, 2 weeks later, I've forgotten  just exactly how much it sucked and I kind of want to run another race....kind of.
• started graduate classes 2 weeks ago and was immediately bombarded on all fronts by an onslaught of research papers and projects. Honestly, my brain feels like it has been in a coma for the past 3 years since graduation and all of the sudden is be demanded to perform tasks that now seem completely foreign to him. Poor brain :(
• wedding planning = the bane of my existence. It robs me of joy and time and sanity. 

Yes yes...tis been a whirlwind indeed. But I certainly see God at work in all of it. 3 years ago, I wrote a journal entry that went something like "It's 10pm. And I realized that I've gone through an entire school day without speaking to a single soul". In fact, I think that was pretty much my goal going into classes. Don't talk to people because they will think you are a strange strange, stupid person. But God's been working in this heart of mine, freeing me from idols and fears that once had dominion over my brain/thoughts/actions. At some point this past month I just broke down and cried out to God to rescue me from my selfish, idol-cuddling heart. I told Him I didn't want to live like this anymore and all I wanted was to be free from those fears and idols so that I might be free to love Him and, in turn, love others. No doubt about it, He is answering those prayers. He's freeing me to be honest, open to people I would otherwise have ignored or avoided in the past. He's freeing me to love others forrealz and not be so gosh darn obsessed with myself. Yes indeed, "for freedom, Christ has set us free" (Gal 5:1).

p.s. I've already made some really cool friends in my classes :) It's what I am most thankful for this week.

“For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” Romans 8:15

“In my anguish I cried to the LORD, and He answered by setting me free.” Psalm 118:5

“But thanks be to God that, though you used to be slaves to sin, you wholeheartedly obeyed the form of teaching to which you were entrusted. You have been set from sin and have become slaves to righteousness.” Romans 6:17-18