I'm a big jerk that eats food off the ground

Friday, September 25, 2009

Ok. I eat food off the ground. All the time. I'm that person who can drop a scoop of icecream onto the floor of a mouse-infested college park apartment, think nothing of it, scoop back up and continuing eating. I don't like seeing perfectly edible food being wasted. Therefore, I'm not quite sure what the correct thing is to teach a 3-year-old who has dropped his/her sandwich on the ground. When I see a kid eating food off the ground, I naturally think, "nice work, buddy". Is that wrong? Probably. But it really does shock me when I see how much goes to waste each day in a small classroom of pre-schoolers. Yeah soooo ever since I've started working, several kids have gotten pretty sick and I just want to get it out there that my not-stopping-kids-from-eating-food-off-the-floor is in no way correlated to this recent incline in sick children.

Also, I realize I have a problem responding to e-mails/IMs/missed phone calls. It's a disorder that's gone unchecked for the past 22 years of my life and I apologize to all my friends who think I hate them or just don't care about them. I think my online etiquette is the worst. So this is me pre-gaming for the New Years. My pre-new years resolution is to do my best to respond promptly to missed phone calls/texts. As for IMs....I do this thing where I'll leave my computer, come back to an IM sent 20 minutes ago, not feel the urgency to respond b/c I figure the person has moved on, and I just close their window. Yes, I realize this is not cool. And yes, I'll try to quit being a jerk =/ In general, I'm going to try my best to be a better friend, especially to those I don't get to see on a daily basis anymore :( I'm never the first one to call someone up to hang out because I'm weird and cynical and stupid. I'll never completely understand why my brain works this way, but I'm going to try and make a conscious effort to put a stopper in it.

For the past few weeks, I've been praying to God for new opportunities to serve and grow. The thing is, I've been so blind to the opportunities He had already placed in front of me. I've just been too scared, doubtful, and discouraged to even consider them. That's how I often feel about serving in new places or roles. I don't feel equipped or ready and that scares me away. But that's exactly how God wants us to feel before serving. It's when we think to ourselves, "I'm not ready for this. I can't do this by myself", that God says, "Ok. Now you're ready to serve". I need to ask for the courage to take risks. I need to stop being such a little worried sissy. I need to trust in God more.

Also....KJ:ADSF;j*(&(*wqu#riosDUFJSDaxcmIUW3IRU WHOMP -______-