more reasons to hate donuts

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

I'm not exactly certain what the maximum velocity of a krispy kreme donut being thrown out of a moving vehicle is, but I would estimate something like....fast enough to hurt my feelings

I don't know. I just have a few questions for you, anonymous donut man. Like...what are you doing eating donuts at such a late hour? And...what has to go through your mind to be able to throw donuts at strangers? I think what bothers me the most is that I'll never know the identity of the culprit behind my drive-by donutting. Por ejemplo, if I'm driving behind someone who is 30mph under the speed limit, I feel compelled to know who this person is so that I might determine to what degree they are deserving of forgiveness. Asian grandma? Forgiven. So I guess what I'm having trouble with is the ability to forgive a faceless, unidentifiable person who has wronged me in such a way, that I hate donuts more than I ever have. Are you a small child who just really hated your boston-creme filled pastry? Forgiven. Highschool hooligan with no morals and a burning passion to inflict pain on others? I don't know maaaaan.

Kid quotes from the first week of summer

Friday, June 24, 2011

(at the pool)
Me: Hey Vasilios, are those earplugs working alright?
Vasi: (blank stare)....WHAT DID YOU SAY?
Me: awesome.

(at the Leesburg Animal Park)
Aldabra tortoise: *does this*
Vasilios: Hey guys...the turtles are playing rough again!
Other children: *congregate around tortoise enclosure and start to make tortoise mating noises*
Park staff: they're like exhibitionists. They only do this when there are tons of kids watching.

journal entry from 5/28

Wrote this in my journal during retreat. Perhaps it is no coincidence at all that I've had the best conversations of my life with multiple people in the past 3 weeks, including the parentals, older sibling, best bud, and a pretty stupendous sister in Christ.
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I pray more than anything this weekend that God would transform my heart and my mind. That He would take this selfish, self-centered, self-loving heart and replace it with one that desires to sincerely love others with pure motives. I pray He would show me what it means to 'attain to the unity of faith' and that He would make me increase and abound in love for others, that He would teach me to to love others, and free me from my sinful desire to be loved and the temptation to put on a mask of someone I'm not.

Psalm 62:5-8
Find rest O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him. He alone is my Rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge 

"Our salvation and honor depend on what Christ has done for us, not what we can do for You. continue to free me from the fear of not doing enough to please you and the arrogance of thinking I could ever do enough to earn your favor.

Jesus, I want greater freedom from living for people's approval. I want to be able to respond to trying situations with grace and wisdom rather than irritation and fear. i want freedom to value and love the way you value, see, and love them. I want to be bolder in sharing the gospel. Make me freer, Jesus, for your glory." - Scotty Smith

My pride and joy

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

small-scale farming

mesclun lettuce rows + 3 varieties of tomatoes

ICHIBAN EGGPLANT

So beautiful I don't even want to eat it

Basil

Greenbeans

cutie patooties

The old has gone, the new has come

Sunday, June 19, 2011

My mom asked each of us kiddos to write a letter of appreciation to my dad. Easy, right? Perhaps not. I spent 2 hours crying in the bathroom and blowing a nearly endless supply of snot into 1/2 a roll of toilet paper. I couldn't even explain to myself why I was crying. All I felt was brokenness. 23 years of hatred and hurt pouring out of my eyeballs. I didn't know what to do with it, so crying seemed like the best way to deal. So there I was sitting at my computer at 2am convinced I couldn't forgive him. I didn't know how to let it go. So all I could do was pray and plead with God to take it from me. And He did. And He reminded me that the Dad I see in front of me today, is not the same short-tempered, cold, heartless, unforgiving one I've grown up with all my life. This past year alone, me and Matt have witnessed a complete transformation in him. And all of the sudden, I'm in awe of our God's incredible grace and mercy. All of the sudden, I no longer have a reason to hold onto that hurt and anger. It's gone.

Eph 3:20-21 - Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.

Matt 19:26 - But Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

2 Cor 5:17 - Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!

Eph 2:14 - For he himself is our peace, who has made us both one and has broken down in his flesh the dividing wall of hostility

Imagine me

last day of school

Thursday, June 16, 2011

I didn't want to look at little Kevin Peng in the face today. Didn't want to create any more reasons to miss the living crap out of that boy. I tried to cope by ignoring him, but couldn't resist playing an hour of monster tag this morning and singing 'Hey Soul Sister' one last time around the computer before I walked out the door. As a parting gift, I snuck a silly picture of us into his backpack with a brief documentation of all our favorite memories. I cried on my way home as "Break Away" by Kelly Clarkson was playing on the radio. As me an my coworker were tossing things into the dumpster today, we both agreed it twas a mighty depressing day. We've spent more time with these kids than anyone else in our lives - even our own families. So it's a weird when you realize this is the last time you'll ever see them again. If it weren't for the fact that I've been told that facebooking these kids 20 years from now would be considered "creepy" and "wrong", I'd totally do it.

LE SIGH

You Are More

Saturday, June 4, 2011

You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.

'Cause this is not about what you've done,
But what's been done for you.
This is not about where you've been,
But where your brokenness brings you to

This is not about what you feel,
But what He felt to forgive you,
And what He felt to make you loved.

hmm

One day Alice came to a fork in the road and saw a Cheshire cat in a tree. 'Which road do I take?' she asked. 'Where do you want to go?' was his response. 'I don't know,' Alice answered. 'Then,' said the cat, 'it doesn't matter.'

- Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

"The most important decision we face is the daily decision to live for Christ and die to self...God wants us to stop obsessing about the future and trust that He holds the future. We should put aside the passivity and the perfectionism and the quest for perfect fulfillment and get on with our lives"

"Die to self. Live for Christ. And then do what you want, and go where you want, for God's glory"

- Kevin Deyoung, Just Do Something