more reasons to hate donuts

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

I'm not exactly certain what the maximum velocity of a krispy kreme donut being thrown out of a moving vehicle is, but I would estimate something like....fast enough to hurt my feelings

I don't know. I just have a few questions for you, anonymous donut man. Like...what are you doing eating donuts at such a late hour? And...what has to go through your mind to be able to throw donuts at strangers? I think what bothers me the most is that I'll never know the identity of the culprit behind my drive-by donutting. Por ejemplo, if I'm driving behind someone who is 30mph under the speed limit, I feel compelled to know who this person is so that I might determine to what degree they are deserving of forgiveness. Asian grandma? Forgiven. So I guess what I'm having trouble with is the ability to forgive a faceless, unidentifiable person who has wronged me in such a way, that I hate donuts more than I ever have. Are you a small child who just really hated your boston-creme filled pastry? Forgiven. Highschool hooligan with no morals and a burning passion to inflict pain on others? I don't know maaaaan.